The Espenblog

"You never know what may come forth from this simple-minded man!"

I’ve Been Insulted Again

Written By: Generalharv - Sep• 26•16

ImageAs long as I’ve been associated with, “The Espenblog,” it never ceases to amaze me of how little respect I get. Once again I’m being pushed to the background to make room for another writer. I was not consulted by the staff on this new development; no one asked for my opinion, nor was my feelings taken into consideration, so I have no choice but to voice my viewpoint before Pops and Ms Ernestine makes the announcement. My actions will put me in the center of controversy where I seem to end up regardless of what I do.

I’ve been labeled as a troublemaker, a busy body, an egotistical high strung spoiled brat, besides being called a know it all, and a deceiver. In addition to being characterized as snotty, deceitful, arrogant, and agitating, Ms Ernestine says I have no culture. Pops just laughs and shakes his head when I suggest something and Charlie runs around tattling on me so I end up in trouble. I’m not standing for this foolishness any longer. Today I stand my ground, voice my opinions, let my feelings being known, and take matters into my own hand. I’m going to get to the point here in a minute but I must spend time setting the stage.

To borrow a phrase from Ms Ernestine, “Take a good look at me.” I’m extraordinarily handsome, highly intelligent, fun loving, caring, and the most unselfish creature you would ever want to meet. I’m in a position of power, prestige, influence, and in reality, this place would fall apart without me. Did I mention that the women just adore me?

dorothy-with-mustach-and-glassesNow to the point! I’ve heard through the grapevine that Pops is bringing Dorothy on as a writer. It seems after consulting with Ms Ernestine, Charlie, and Cindy the Chief Psychiatrist, the decision was made. What am I, “chopped liver?” Dorothy is a wanna be opera singer, a woman that gets her hair caught up in her knitting needles, someone that locked herself in the barn and refused to come out, and of all things, she walks backwards. Why? Why? Why?

Dress Up Day at the FarmDorothy is getting her own cubicle, a brand new computer, and a telephone hot line which is connected to Ms Ernestine which means she’ll be getting all the news scoops. If that’s not bad enough, she’ll have at her disposal a car complete with a driver. David will be Dorothy’s driver and body guard. Camera crews will be available to accompany Dorothy and a helicopter will be on standby to fly her to any destination in, “Our World.” If anyone on this staff deserves all these perks it should be me. Excuse me while I throw myself on the floor, kick my feet, and bang my head.media-cameraman

All I’m going to hear is how great Dorothy is. I can’t imagine being in the same room with her while she tries to sing that opera stuff. Picture Dorothy in the room walking backwards to the file cabinet: no one will know if she’s coming or going. I have a sinister plan in the works for Ms Dorothy and dang gummit, by the time I’m done everyone here will know that General Harvey has stuck again. Once and for all I’ll gain the respect that I deserve. I’m really nice but this situation has pushed me over the edge.

Well, thanks for stopping by. By the time you read this article the stuff will have hit the fan. There will probably be guts, hair, bones, and blood all over the place. I just hope it isn’t mine. I can see you all becoming as crazy as the rest Mental_problemsof us. Hit the like button, share this with friends and family, and don’t be afraid to leave a comment. Cya!

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One Comment

  1. Lori newman says:

    Come on Harvey!!! What do you have against Dorothy? I heard she’s an awesome reporter. Guess the saying is true. Haters gonna hate!!!!

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