The Espenblog

"You never know what may come forth from this simple-minded man!"

The Vikings Have Arrived

Written By: Msernestine - Jan• 16•12

We are now sixteen days into the New Year and this is the first article that’s been written since December 20, 2011. The events that have taken place these past several weeks here in our world could be termed unbelievable, but you must always remember that this is a place where fantasy and reality are intertwined and we can’t tell the difference. Couple that with the fact this is the Funny Farm and you have the ingredients that will cause you to shake your head in dismay and confusion. Take a deep breath and try to digest that last sentence.

After the teeth and Hairyetta Prickly were taken out by the Funny Farm Commando Team just days before Christmas, there was a huge celebration. The teeth that had been biting the butts of the inhabitants of our world had been liquidated and Prickly was exiled to a far, far away place so everyone was in a festive mood. Even Mom Mom let down her hair and got in on the action.

It wasn’t intended for the party to last 3 weeks but once it got started it seemed no one wanted it to end, including myself. I let myself get carried away in the moment and rode the wave as long as I could. What a ride I had. One only needs to look at my picture to see that Ms Ernestine didn’t hold back this time. As an old sow that’s been around the block a few times I’ve attended some knockdown, drag em out parties, but never have I seen anything like this.

The food was delicious, the entertainment superb, the inmates were hilarious, and even Harvey was tolerable if you can believe that. I’m embarrassed to say that, “we lost all sense of time but we just didn’t care.” Our world came to a screeching halt when the party began. Work was neglected, deadlines ignored, phones went unanswered, and whatever else was missed, was missed. If I had to do it all over again I’d do it just like I did it. I squealed the whole time I was partying although I feel somewhat queasy right now.

Cindy, the Chief Psychiatrist and her buddy had a good time. She was giving shock treatments to those who wanted one. Every time I passed the shock machine, Ralph the Nose Picker was taking a treatment and there was a long line of inmates that were patiently waiting their turn. The loons love watching one another get the zapper thrown to them and they all crack up when Cindy jolts another one. I guess being loony makes you like that, but then again, this is the Funny Farm. I’m getting a little loony myself the more I hang around here.

The highlight of the party was when by accident, “The Vikings & Company,” were delivered. Cindy is a highly trained loon, I mean psychiatrist, but even she makes a mistake now and then. Apparently she thought she had ordered vitamins for the inmates but we come to find out, she said the word Vikings instead of vitamins. That’s why we thought it strange when the rail depot called and asked us if we could come and pick up our Vikings. Pops asked if they meant vitamins but they insisted it was Vikings. We were informed that we should send a bus to pick them up at once. Our man Travis was instructed to go get the Vikings which we still insisted were vitamins. Pops was so sure that the vitamins had come by rail that he told Travis to take the truck and not the bus. Sure enough, Travis returned after a while to exchange the truck for the bus. He swore up and down that the bus was needed to bring the Vikings back to the farm. Pops said, “Whatever,” so Travis drove off in the bus only to return with a bus load of Vikings.

All eyes were on the bus as the gang of Vikings quickly unloaded. I was wondering what we would do with a herd of Vikings when much to my surprise I noticed Travis yelling instructions to some of the inmates that gathered around the bus. The main Viking dude wanted some help unloading their stuff. Travis, the inmates, and the Vikings began carrying suitcases, musical instruments, props, and what looked like a ship that needed assembling into the main building. This was getting more interesting by the moment.

Don’t forget while the bus was being unloaded the party continued. The streets were filled with the Funny Farm Marching Band that marches backwards. The Funny Farm Drum Corps was right behind the band or should I say right in front of the band that was marching backwards. Let’s try to get this right: the Funny Farm Drum Corps was in front of the band but because the band marches backwards the drummers would be following the band. Take a deep breath and picture it in your mind as everyone lines up in their positions. Some of you are saying that you’re not going to do that but the wheels in your head are turning as you try to sort it out. Admit it; you are getting as crazy as the rest of us.

I’m leaving for a short time so I’ll continue when I get back. I must go make sure that Charlie has survived this party. Harvey has locked himself in the outhouse and won’t come out. Mom Mom has stolen Travis’ tractor and won’t give it back. The Vikings have their ship assembled and are trying to row away on dry ground. Things are getting back to normal now that the party is over…..has anyone seen Pops lately?

Leave some comments and keep an eye out for Pops. We never know where he’ll show up if he shows up at all. Come on into our world…it’s safer in here than it is out there in your world. We’ll be waiting.

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