The Espenblog

"You never know what may come forth from this simple-minded man!"

Pops Suspends Himself for Seven Days

Written By: Msernestine - Jan• 31•12

“I’ve called this emergency meeting to suggest that we, the writers of, ‘The Espenblog,’ should fire ourselves effective immediately,” so said Pops. “All of us here at, ‘The Espenblog,’ have been shirking our responsibilities big time and therefore, drastic action must be taken.”

I’ve been a lot of places, done a lot of things, been a part of many organizations, set in a lot of meetings, and heard a lot of proposals but what Pops said as he opened the meeting hit me so hard I fell off my bench. You all know that I’m rather large so when I go down it isn’t something that goes unnoticed. I was so flabbergasted that I hyperventilated. Have you ever seen a large sow hyperventilate? If it hadn’t been for the quick action of Charlie grabbing a paper bag I most assuredly would have passed on. Harvey never lifted a finger to help. He just set there laughing his fool head off.

Pops stood there watching the spectacle like he was in a daze. He hasn’t been himself since we had the big three week bash. He came up missing as the party was winding down and he just returned in time to announce this emergency meeting. I’ll give you the details of where he was later on in this article if I can remember to do so. Well, after I got myself together I addressed Pops by saying, “If we agree to fire ourselves who will write the articles for the blog? If we have no writers we have no blog; if we have no blog we have no loyal readers who have supported us over the years; if we have no readers to make as crazy as the rest of us we have failed in our mission. Pops, I’m not sure what is wrong with you but you’re not thinking clearly. Sit down, take a deep breath, shake yourself real good, and think about what you’re suggesting.”

Harvey was running his lip saying that he was too important to be fired and it was because of his writing that, “The Espenblog,” was a success. Let it up to old fat head Harvey to try to get the spotlight shining on him. He’s already forgotten that he had been suspended for seven days for not contributing to the blog. I couldn’t help but laugh when Charlie reached over as fast as lightening and handcuffed Harvey’s hands to the chair and jammed a sock in his big mouth. Charlie’s such a delightful little fellow.

Pops sat down in his on his thinking device and went to work thinking. If you have never seen Pops thinking you are missing out on one of the most spectacular sights that takes place on this planet. I’m not exaggerating when I say that people for miles around come here to the funny farm just to watch Pops think. We try to keep it from leaking out when Pops goes into one of his deep thought routines but with all the loons around here there’s just no way to keep it from being known. Why even the loony’s from up at, “The Mountain Top Funny Farm,” gets wind of it and comes down in droves to watch the spectacle. Pops has two deep thought poses and whichever one he begins with, he ends with. Folks enter at their own risk when they come to watch Pops think. One never knows what pose he may be in and Pops makes no excuses for either pose. When he’s in deep thought he is oblivious to the surroundings. He sees nothing, hears nothing, and says nothing. Whatever it appears that Pops is doing while he is posing you can rest assured that he’s not actually doing what it looks as if he’s doing. How did I get over here on that?

While Pops went into his deep thinking routine the three of us set there waiting. After almost three hours Pops snapped out of his deep thinking pose and announced that he had the remedy. “Being that I’m the one in charge of this conglomeration I hereby do suspend myself for the period of seven days. I will not participate in the writing of articles for, ‘The Espenblog.’ Ms Ernestine will be in charge of the blog until I serve my suspension at which time I will resume my duties.” With that being said Pops stood up, fixed his britches, folded his newspaper, walked out, and climbed upon his vehicle and went away. Charlie and I followed Pops out the door forgetting to release Harvey from his chair; not really.

Never did get to tell you where Pops was or what he was up to but I will next time. We’ll set Harvey free after while so he can write the next article although he’s going to be upset. Hey drop some comments before you leave. I think Pops went to the radio studio to get ready for the show so stay posted for the announcement. Thanks for hanging in there with us. Are you as crazy as the rest of us yet?

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