Before I begin please take a good look at me. I’m cool, calm, and collected as I sit here writing this report pertaining to the horrific event that struck “The Espenblog,” the latter part of last week. The fact is that I’m the only one that’s capable of writing this article seeing that the rest of the gang is locked away in their padded cells until further notice.
Pops had just finished posting his last article about his big, fat nose when out of nowhere disaster struck. The server that we’ve been using for years out in the Midwest began to act difficult. For some strange reason we couldn’t get to the platform that we launched our articles from. None of us, especially Pops, got overly excited about the problem knowing that a quick phone call would resolve the problem in no time. Little be known to any of us that we were about to have the fight of our lives with that character named Murphy. The victory would be ours, but the price paid would result in most of the staff being locked down, locked up, and locked in padded rooms, including our leader.
You must remember that Pops just had a go around with Mom Mom that ended with her hitting Pops with a left hook that caused severe swelling about his head and shoulders, especially his nose. If that wasn’t bad enough, Pops was starting to write his article about his fat nose when he was totally distracted by two crazy mice. With swollen nose and all Pops endeavored to do battle with the mice….more on that later. On top of all this our server was visited by Murphy and the battle was on.
From late Thursday night until last night (Monday), Pops and others were constantly on the phone trying to get our problem straightened out. I watched as time passed by with no change. Phone call after phone call brought no relief to the situation. First Pops would be talking, then Charlie would give it a stab, and finally the peanut breath, big eared, arrogant, agitating Harvey with his chest stuck out took his turn. Did I mention I just stood by and watched? You won’t believe this, but even Cindy our Chief Psychiatrist got in the action.
Hours turned into a day, a day became 2, and by the time the smoke cleared, the dust settled, and the casualty’s drug away, 4 days had elapsed. During all this time tempers flared, people walked and gestured with their hands while they talked on the phone, eyes became bloodshot; too much caffeine was taking its toll coupled along with sleep deprivation that made for words to be slurred and sometimes someone would end up slobbering. I couldn’t help it, but I found myself holding my stomach from laughing so hard. At 9:00 pm, after 4 days of getting nowhere, I took charge!
I picked up the phone; spoke to the technician, and in fifteen minutes the problem went away. I thanked the man for his help, and hung up. What I saw when I turned around sent me into stitches. Pops had fallen off his chair onto the floor staring up at the ceiling mumbling incoherently. Charlie was running around a pole trying to catch his tail, and Harvey was standing in the corner saying he wanted his mother. As for Cindy, she was just dancing around talking to herself and burping.
I simply called for the Funny Farm security team and had everyone taken away. It was an event I’ll never forget as long as I live. The staff has been medicated and resting comfortably in their own padded rooms tonight. Hope Pops can recover quickly so he can tell us the story behind his big, fat, swollen nose.
Thanks for coming by and don’t forget to hit the like button, share this with all your family and friends, and please don’t be afraid to leave a comment. So until next time this is Ms Ernestine saying good night to all our friends everywhere. Are you as crazy as the rest of us here on the Funny Farm?